“People always ask me, ‘You have so much confidence. Where did that come from?’ It came from me. One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl … It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.”
— Gabourey Sidibe
Quotes like this are what made me enjoy food again. It made me realize that if I treat my body well, nutritiously, physically, emotionally, etc... that it is going to reflect my outer self. For many months I wouldn't necessarily deny myself good foods (as I was binging on a heck of a ton of pieces of cake and tubs and tubs of ice cream), but I was restricting myself from foods that were actually healthy for me; I can't eat those carrots, I just ate two huge bowls of ice cream... really? That shouldn't of happened in the first place, I should be eating the foods that are good for me, and treating myself occasionally with a single bowl of ice cream.
The past two weeks I've really been back on track with my exercise, my eating habits, and my sleep is slowly but surely coming back as well. It's been about three weeks where I've been sleeping for a couple hours (trying to go to sleep as early as possible because I kept waking up at 12:30 am every night). Since about Friday though, my sleeping has been 80% better, I am actually sleeping until 4:00 am, turn my computer on, search some things for 10-15 minutes until my eyes feel like they're going to fade, and I fall back asleep!
With all of this, all I want to say is, do not deny yourself substance. Substance equals fuel, it ignites so much. While I was suffering from my ED, I would always be thinking about food, and not the way in which I think about food now. I would always make these abstract meals, where at the time, I'd get asked, "don't you ever make normal foods?" Well now, I love making foods that I deem "normal" that may not be to others, but they are so simple, and do not have five bazillion ingredients, on average the majority of the foods I now eat have between 5-10 ingredients (spices included).
Breakfasts are the thing I look most forward to when going to sleep/waking up. I love breakfasts, as they give me the biggest boost of energy for my day. This morning, I had probably the best oatmeal I've had up-to date. I've made many different oatmeal's in the past two years, since that is when I first started experimenting with oatmeal, but this one... I just went with the flow and hot dang my tastebuds were dancing as if it was their last day on this planet.
Breakfasts are the thing I look most forward to when going to sleep/waking up. I love breakfasts, as they give me the biggest boost of energy for my day. This morning, I had probably the best oatmeal I've had up-to date. I've made many different oatmeal's in the past two years, since that is when I first started experimenting with oatmeal, but this one... I just went with the flow and hot dang my tastebuds were dancing as if it was their last day on this planet.
I've mentioned it before, and even mentioned it the other day, pudding is something I'm not that genuinely interested in. I do however love me some chia pudding as it has texture, regular ol' pudding makes me just... I don't know, it doesn't seem right. It confuses my brain, it's as smoothe as a smoothie, but you can't drink it, yet it has a fluffy-esk texture without anything that I just don't know what to do, so I chew, but it doesn't feel right. Lately however though, I've been feeling inspired from Amanda's oats that are doused with chocolate pudding. At first I was a bit skeptical about it, but the more pictures she kept posting the more I thought about it. Last week I picked up a pudding, but I put it down. This weekend however, the soy pudding was on sale, and it wasn't only chocolate (thank heavens) or vanilla flavour, there was also caramel, which I had to pick it up. I haven't had caramel in forever because 99.9% of the caramel flavoured foods I pick up are not vegan, this pudding however was!
This morning I decided to add it to my oats, and what the heck, Amanda is definitely a genius. These oats, bksfjdlkjflj ahhhhh. They were so simple, yet the result was... I don't even know, best. oatmeal. ever. I definitely look forward to making more oats like this, and next weekend I think I'm going to pick up some vanilla pudding as I've never tried that before, and may like it... but I'm going to keep my puddings as oat-toppers, instead of desserts, because I still cannot get over the weird-texture.
Peanut Butter Caramel Banana Oatmeal
Recipe by me
Ingredients:
- 1 banana, ripe
- 1/4 cup oats
- 3/4 cup full-fat coconut milk
- 1/4 cup water
- 1 tsp vanilla
- Dash of salt
Garnish:
- Caramel soy pudding
- 1 tbsp gingerbread peanut butter
- Coconut flakes
In a small pot, over medium-high heat, add your oats, milk, water, vanilla, and salt. Once your oats start to boil, stir and mash in your banana. Mix until well incorporated (I cook my oats for about 2-3 minutes, because I don't like them to be 100% cooked).
Top your oats with your pudding, peanut butter, and coconut flakes.
What foods have you tried that you thought you would never ever be able to eat?
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